Date Rape


Acquaintance or Date Rape is a commonly used term to describe a serious crime known as Rape. The term itself was created to make people aware that rape isn't only when a stranger attacks, but also when it happens between two people who know each other. This type of attacker may be a friend, work associate, classmate, neighbor or relative.

Most rapes occurring in this category are as violent as stranger rapes and usually are more traumatic since the survivor fells guilty and to blame.

Remember, whatever the term, rape is rape.

If you are raped, report the crime immediately. Many victims delay too long to make apprehension and prosecution of the offender more difficult.

WOMEN:

Know your sexual intentions and limits. You have the right to say, "No," to any unwanted sexual contact. If you are uncertain about what you want, ask the man to respect it.

MEN:

Listen carefully. Take the time to hear what the woman is saying. If you feel she is not being direct or giving you a "mixed message" ask for clarification.

WOMEN:

Communicate your feelings firmly and directly. If saying "No"--mean it. Back up words with clear voice and body language. Some men think that drinking, dressing provocatively, or going to his room indicates a willingness to have sex.

MEN:

Use common sense. Realize that you do not have the right to force a woman to have sex just because you paid for her dinner or drinks.

WOMEN:

Stay sober on a date. A victim of rape who was intoxicated may have their credibility attacked in court.

MEN:

Don't fall for common stereotypes. When a woman says, "No,” don't assume that she really means "Yes.”

WOMEN:

Don't assume that your date will automatically know how you feel, or will eventually, "get the message" without you having to tell him.

MEN:

Remember:  Date rape is a crime.

WOMEN:

Attend large parties with friends you can trust. Agree to look out for each other.

MEN:

Beware of your date. Having sex with someone who cannot consent because she is intoxicated, drugged, passed out or incapable of saying "No" may make you guilty of rape.

WOMEN:

Fighting back. Most experts agree that this is a choice each woman must make herself. If you are confident, consider learning self-defense techniques that provide you with options if attacked. A self defense course such as R.A.D. will give you that confidence.

MEN:

Be especially careful in group settings. Be prepared to resist prodding and teasing from friends to commit a possible crime.

WOMEN:

Listen to your gut feelings. If you feel at all uncomfortable or think you are at risk, leave the situation immediately and go to a safe place.

MEN:

Get involved if you believe someone is at risk. If you see a female in trouble or a male friend using force or pressuring a woman, don't be afraid to intervene.

 

To Prevent Date Rape

     •   Clearly state your expectations and desires. 
         Speak openly.
 
     •  Arrange for your own transportation when dating
         someone new. Pick him up for the date or meet him at the 
         location. 

     •   Control is the key. If you or your date is impaired due 
         to drugs or alcohol, it is much harder to be in control.
 
     •   Avoid secluded places when dating someone new. 

     •   Beware of casual acquaintances such as someone you 
         just met in a bar, or a friend of a friend. Remember, that 
         this person is a stranger. 

     •   Assert yourself with a date that is aggressive or verbally 
         abusive. Do not let yourself be persuaded or forced into 
         anything you don't want.